Mikey’s start in life was very rough. We rescued him and his father John about 8 years ago from nasty abuse and neglect. We rehabbed them both with energywork, massage, good clean food, bodywork, acupuncture and tons of other tools that crazy-dog-loving-fathers pour on their new “kids”.
We came to discover that his father, John had borne the brunt of much of the physical abuse. John passed several years ago at home with us. He had spent much of his life protecting his son, Mikey from further harm. Amazing.
There is a piece of solace for me in knowing that Mikey now reunites with his protective and loving father John. And also that the two of them get to hang out with our long-since-passed dogs Stubbs and Pearl. I can’t actually imagine better company, a better pack and a more harmonious crew of any kind. Truth be told, I’m a bit envious of them all together.
So now there’s just the relentless grief that comes in waves without much warning. The torment of remembering good times and trying not to be sad about them. And lots of crying.
We had the joy and pleasure of Mikey for 8 years. He lived to be 15 ½ years old thanks to good food and thorough rehab. He was also the “runt” of the litter. We had another “runt” years ago called Stubbs and he and Mikey shared a really remarkable trait. They shared a kind of physical intimacy with us. You could lie next to them, move their bodies in any direction and basically take command of them however you wanted. With both of them I was able to do work in their mouths, manipulate their bodies and pretty much have free reign with them. Their trust with us is something I have never seen before. It was remarkable.
In the midst of these waves of grief we had dinner with a chum Zoe who had just lost her cat a couple of weeks prior and is in the same place we’re waiting to leave. But…she had her lovely cat for over 20 years. Somehow, just knowing we are not the only ones going through this now seemed to help. Yes, it’s misery-loves-company but it made me wonder whether it’s 8 years or 20 years…does it ever hurt any less? No. It doesn’t.
So we feel for all of us who have lost pets and friends and lovers and others. We’re sorry for ALL of our losses and the missing and the grief.
It’s my belief that there comes a re-connection and a time and place and space where I’ll get to cuddle and pet and walk with my amazing dog Mikey again. It may not be your belief, and that’s fine. I can’t tell you how encouraging a thought it is to know that it’s only a matter of time and there is no other barrier to when we’ll get the chance to go for a walk again.
If you’ve spent any time on my sites you know that Mikey was always an integral part of the site, my work and the recordings that I produce. In fact, he was present for almost all of them while they were being recorded. I have produced some new ones without him…and it’s just my reminder that his body may be gone, but his energy & spirit are with me still. It’s only the body [with that big leathery nose!] that I miss. He is still great company and inspiration for me.
PLEASE LET ME ASK YOU A FAVOR: I’m very happy to read your comments if you’d care to post them below…but I’ll ask you not to e-mail me about this loss. It’s still very painful for me and I’d prefer just to read-and-not-respond comments for now. I’m hoping that can lessen the grief just a tad. Thank you.
So for us, with this loss, and for all the losses you’ve suffered…we’re with you. We’re sorry for all of us. We miss our friends, our pets, our chums. If there was ever any proof that "it’s only completely about the love", waves of grief would be the perfect proof. How could it be about anything else?
It has become so clear to me that the big heart in Mikey leads me to want to emulate his open & friendly relationship to everyone & everything in the world. I aspire to be as open-hearted as my wonderful dog.
Much love to you all,
Rudy, George, Mikey, John, Stubbs & Pearl